The Memory Hole

I’m beginning to think something is wrong with my memory.

It’s strange, the feeling. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s not like I have amnesia or anything. I remember who I am, I think. And I remember things that happened in the past, but I don’t think I remember them the way they happened.

The history of the Covid years, for example. My memory of that period is all messed up. I hadn’t realized how messed up until I saw the news about the Fauci hearing, where Fauci refused to answer questions about his role as director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases.

Most of the news about the hearing focused on the question of whether the virus had leaked from a secret lab in China, as opposed to having come from bats, or pangolins, or whatever Chinese animal it had supposedly come from, and whether Fauci had lied about that.

Which, OK, that’s kind of important news, if the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases lied to people, but that’s not what got me concerned about my memory.

The thing that got me concerned about my memory—i.e., whether I’m remembering things accurately, or have unconsciously altered my memory of events to conform to some version of the past that never happened, but that I want to believe happened, because it makes me feel better about how I comported myself at the time—was how the senators conducting the hearing, and the media people reporting on the hearing, and “influencers” on social media, kept talking about the Covid era as if millions of perfectly healthy people had been killed by some apocalyptic plague.

Had that happened and I had just forgotten it? Had I repressed that memory? Had I dropped it down the memory hole, like Winston Smith in George Orwell’s 1984?

I started to feel incredibly uneasy, like I couldn’t trust what I thought I remembered, like maybe I was losing my mind.

So I went back and checked the citations in my book The Rise of the New Normal Reich: Consent Factory Essays, Vol. III (2020-2021). This is the book that prompted the German authorities to send armed police to raid my home and confiscate my computer last November, the book that I have been indicted for publishing.

The book is a collection of the essays I published as events unfolded during the Covid era. It includes copious footnotes with copious citations, mostly from corporate (i.e., “mainstream”) news sources.

I went back and looked through some of those citations, because I could have sworn I had reported about how the “apocalyptic plague” was actually just a respiratory virus that caused mild to moderate flu-like symptoms (or, more commonly, zero symptoms) in the vast majority of those infected. I thought I remembered reporting on how they inflated the “Covid case” statistics by defining anyone who tested positive as a “case,” regardless of whether they were sick. I distinctly remembered reporting on how they had inflated the “Covid deaths” statistics by recording anyone who died of any cause (i.e., cancer, heart disease, etc.) and who had also tested positive as a “Covid death.” I was pretty sure I had debunked the “morgue trucks” story, and had reported on how the “emergency field hospital in Central Park” and the “hospital ship” were just PR, and never actually got used. I absolutely remembered reporting about Sweden! And the vaccine injuries and deaths, I was sure I had covered those, but here was Mehdi Hasan implying that they were all just brain-eating MAGA propaganda …

Anyway, when I went back and checked my book, sure enough, there it was, all that reporting, including the citations from mainstream sources. It was all right there in the book the German authorities banned for some reason, and that Amazon banned, and that I have been indicted for writing, publishing, and promoting.

Normally, I would post a picture of the book for you, but I can’t, or else the German authorities will indict me for yet another criminal offense, and maybe even have the police raid my home again. Which puts me in an awkward position, because I’m not allowed to promote my own book, even though I’m no longer its publisher.

Yes, that’s right, I took the first edition of my book out of distribution. I had no other choice. I live here in Germany, and the German authorities and courts have declared the book illegal. So that paperback edition is permanently out-of-print.

Fortunately, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc., will be publishing a second edition under its Tucker Carlson Books imprint, including a Foreword by Tucker Carlson, in October. I’m pretty sure it’s available to pre-order now from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and all other fine booksellers throughout the world.

But I can’t show you a picture of that edition either. Or, wait, I think I’ve got an idea!

There! I censored it! That should keep the German authorities happy! No one can see the swastika behind the Covid mask now!

Oh, and another thing I thought I remembered, and which I found in the book when I looked through it again, was this 257-tweet thread that I compiled in March and April 2020, as the “New Normal” was being rolled out, globally (i.e., not just in the USA) ...

… which is weird, because the impression I get when I reread that 257-tweet thread (which I can’t recall assembling) is that the Covid event was a globally-coordinated systemic phenomenon that was probably not orchestrated by Anthony Fauci, or any other nefarious individual.

So you can understand why I’m feeling a bit nuts, like maybe I’m losing touch with reality, or suffering from some weird false-memory syndrome that causes people to remember things that actually happened, and which are documented as happening, but which nonetheless never actually happened, or that happened, but not the way they officially happened, as opposed to the way they are documented as happening, because the documentation of what happened hasn’t been memory-holed yet.

And there was something else I wanted to tell you, but I can’t remember what it was. It was probably something about the “lab leak” story, and how it conveniently reifies the official Covid narrative, because, if the virus is the virus I thought I remembered (the particulars of which are now a matter of record), and not the apocalyptic plague that Mehdi Hasan and Peter Hotez and all those folks want you to think it was, then, not to put too fine a point on it, but what does it matter where it fucking came from?

Sorry … I know, this column is kind of scattered. It’s the memory thing. It’s screwing me all up. I literally can’t remember why I pasted in that tweet I just pasted in above.

And there was one more thing. It’s right there on the tip of my mind … no, it’s gone.

Or … OK, wait, I think I’ve got it!

If you live in Germany and want to pre-order the new second edition of The Rise of the New Normal Reich, it appears to be available, currently. The authorities haven’t banned it yet. I’m sure they’ll get around to it eventually.

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