Epistle to the Wokians

America Road Trip Update No. 2

Hugo Fernandez, Storefront Church, New York City, circa 1991

Here comes Road Trip Update No. 2.

It’s a bit of a weird update, as you are about to discover.

Before we get into it, I want to convey my heartfelt thanks to all the kind readers who have invited us into their homes, and are organizing gatherings of people to come talk with us, and who have offered to introduce us to interesting neighbors, and are setting up readings, and other such events.

I am so very grateful for your engagement and generosity. This project could not be happening without you, or not like this in any event. Without your participation in it, Hugo and I would just be two more old weirdos driving around the country jabbering at random people in truck stops and taking pictures of strip malls.

So, thank you for the opportunity to actually do the project I was hoping to do.

Now let me tell you about Update No. 2.

It’s an epistle to the Wokians. Yes, those Wokians. The pronoun-using, mask-wearing Wokians. I meant it when I wrote that I want to talk with people from all walks of life and of all political persuasions, and that includes the Wokians. The challenge is, most of the Wokians I used to know stopped engaging with me circa the Spring of 2020 due to my extremely unWoke response to the roll-out of the authoritarian Covid measures, and the Covid propaganda, and the rest of the “New Normal” that the Powers That Be started vigorously ramming down everyone’s throat.

So I don’t know how to reach out to those folks. What follows is the best I could come up with. I plan to send it around to various Wokian outlets and ask them to publish it.

I figure, what the hell, it’s worth a shot.

Oh, yeah, and there’s an updated itinerary at the end. We’ve still got a lot of uncharted territory and are welcoming all invitations and offers.

OK, here’s that Epistle to the Wokians. Feel free to copy it and spread it around.

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Epistle to the Wokians
Berlin, August 3, 2025

To the Church of the Wokians, and all those sanctified in Wokeness, and, yea, even to the Order of the Covidians, and the High Priests of Pronouns, grace and peace to you all!

I appeal to you, former brothers and sisters, in the name of all that is Woke, that all of you agree with one another in what you say, and that there be no divisions among you, and that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.

However, notwithstanding your unity of mind and thought, and your undividedness, and agreement with each other, I appeal to you to open your mind and thought to this epistle from a former member of your Church, for I write to you in the spirit of peace and forgiveness and harmony and all that good stuff, albeit in this silly mock-Pauline style.

My former brothers and sisters, what is to be done about the fear and hatred and the political polarization that has divided Americans? Verily, we are as a hodgepodge of fundamentalist churches waging endless cancel crusades against each other. Are we already fighting the next civil war? Is there anything that still binds us together?

Are we even able to talk to each other anymore?

My former comrades in Wokeness and Progressiveness, I intend to find the answer to these questions or make a jackass of myself trying.

Verily, I am going to fly across the ocean, returning to the USA, where I have not lived for over twenty years, rent a somewhat ridiculous automobile, and drive all around the country with my friend Hugo Fernandez, who is a photographer, and who is still fairly Woke (or at least he has not yet been excommunicated from the Church of Wokeness).

Our adventures on the road, the perspectives of the folks we meet along the way, and Hugo’s photos will be published as a book by Arcade Publishing. Strangers in a Strange Homeland: On the Road in 21st-Century America is our working title.

My former brothers and sisters, I need your help to carry out this foolish mission, for the portrait of contemporary America that Professor Hugo and I want to paint would not be complete without the stories and perspectives of the Wokians.

And there’s the rub.

Due to my activities in recent years, my readership is primarily comprised of unWoke apostates like myself, old-school lefties, free-speech absolutists, inveterate individual liberties enthusiasts, and, verily, even conservatives and libertarians. Many of these unWoke blasphemers have generously invited the Professor and myself to come and talk to them about America, and are opening their homes and horse farms to us, and are organizing gatherings large and small in towns and cities throughout the country to help us carry out our quixotic mission.

I am exceedingly grateful to these generous folks, but I also want to talk to the Woke, notwithstanding my apostate status in the Church, and my thought criminal status in the Federal Republic of Germany, and the fact that some of you (i.e., those of you who have even heard of me) regard me as a “Covid denier,” an “anti-vaxxer,” a “conspiracy theorist,” or have some other horrible impression of me.

Therefore, I am reaching out to you, my former brothers and sisters in Wokeness (and to the Wokians I suspect are silently lurking among my 34,000 subscribers). I’m asking you to put aside your low opinion of my unWoke activities and help us paint a portrait of America at this historical, and arguably historic, moment.

I described the spirit of this slightly crazy project, and the origins of the working title of the book, in my previous column. Here’s a brief excerpt …

… in a broader sense, aren’t we Americans all “strangers in a strange homeland,” no matter how far back our roots in the country go, or how long we may have been away from home? Except for the Native Americans, we’re all from somewhere else.

In these times of extreme political polarization, cultural fragmentation, confusion, anger, and fear, what is it, if anything, that still unites us as Americans? How did we get here? Where are we? Where are we headed? These are some of the questions I’m hoping to explore with the people we meet along the road.

See? That’s not so horrible, right?

Below you will find our current itinerary. If you are Woke, and find yourself along our route, and are willing to talk to me about America, or perhaps organize a gathering of local Wokians, please get in touch via this contact form.

I want to hear and listen to what you have to say.

You don’t even have to talk to me if you don’t want to. As I mentioned above, Hugo is still pretty Woke, or at least quite a bit more Woke than I am. You could talk to Hugo, and then Hugo could lean over and tell me what you said, and then I could tell Hugo what I want to say to you, and then he could lean over and … well, I think you get the idea.

Seriously, all teasing aside, I want to hear your stories and perspectives and be able to include them in this book.

Blessings and Peace to you, my former brothers and sisters, and to all those sanctified in Wokeness!

Yours in Apostasy,
CJ Hopkins

P.S. Here’s our current itinerary …

• New York City — September 11 (Road trip kicks off at 9/11 Memorial.)

• Philadelphia, Pennsylvania — September 12 (Meetings with locals.)

• Washington, DC — September 13 (TBD)

• Hillsboro, West Virginia — September 14 (Reading event at The Levels Depot.)

• Kentucky, Ohio? — September 16 (TBC)

• Chicago, Illinois — September 18 (Integrity Media Group event.)

• Peoria, Illinois — September 19 (Gathering at a horse farm.)

• Kansas City, Missouri — September 20 (Joe’s BBQ with a dear old friend.)

• Council Grove, Kansas — September 21 (Reading event at Carnegie Library.)

• Estes Park, Colorado — September 23 (TBC)

• Pinedale, Wyoming — September 24 (Gathering with locals.)

• Missoula, Montana — September 26 (Bitterroot Beacon Radio interview and BBQ with locals.)

• Coeur d’Alene, Idaho — September 26 (TBD)

• Portland, Oregon — September 28 (Reading event at The Scout in Gresham.)

• Medford, Oregon — September 29 (Reading event at Barnes & Noble.)

• Ashland, Oregon — September 30 (Gathering at The Noble Fox.)

• San Francisco, California — October 2-4 (TBD)

• Los Angeles, California — October 6-8 (TBD)

• Arizona — October 9 (TBC)

• New Mexico — October 10 (TBC)

• Austin, Texas — October 13 (Gathering with locals.)

• New Orleans, Louisiana — October 16-17 (Meetings with locals.)

• The South — October 18-23 (Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, North and South Carolina? Still no clue what we’re doing in the Deep South yet.)

• Washington, DC — October 24 (Storming the Capitol … just kidding!)

• New York/Connecticut — October 26-30 (And, if I’m not in jail or the hospital by then, perhaps a quick trip up to a permaculture farm in New Hampshire.)

And here’s the current state of our crowdfunding campaign …

Thank you for your generous support! Please stay tuned for further updates.

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